letting go of Grief

To those who have lost a loved one, this information may help heal your heart and hopefully help you find peace.
I lost my dad suddenly this summer. It shocked me, but I was not surprised as his health had been waning for years.
 For those who know me and my life story, know that years ago, I had an NDE myself and understand death at a different level. When I returned , my ability to stay in contact with the spirit world by sight and hearing was opened.
 That being said, when I heard of my dad's passing, the veil closed and I could not see or hear anyone, including my dad from the other side. This felt foreign and strange. I prayed and asked why. The Lord's answer came very clear. "Because you need to grieve" I had to feel that separation and go through a mourning stage. Within a week I had total peace.

In time, the veil opened back up and life for me has resumed as normal. Do I miss my dad? the answer is no. Shocked, you may ask why? It's because I feel him near. He is not far away and he(spirit) has come when I needed him. I have heard his voice, I have felt his hands placed on my head when other Preisthood beare have blessed me. I know he is near.
I have watched my sisters and mother over the months continue to grieve. This is normal in the world's eye. But today as I pondered this situation  and others I have known who have allowed grief and loss to play an active role in their life, and wondered why..... the Holy Spirit taught me this:

When we grieve beyond a certain period of time ( set by God) our spirits go into a low vibration. Think of a light with a dimmer switch. Those from the other side, our loved ones, can not enter a space where there is low vibrations.( light cleaveth unto light) They are at a high vibration and the low repels them. SATAN KNOWS THIS. So he has taught the world to grieve for months, years...because he knows that sad energy will naturally keep our loved ones away from us.This whole mindset of grief the world had accepted is false. It places a disregard for the Atonement of Christ, it keeps peace away...and it keeps our loved ones away.
If you want to feel them near, let go of the sorrow and remember the joy, live life in gratitude. Wasn't it Dr Suess that said " Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" . I promise you, as the Lord has promised, if you give Him your grief, he will give you peace , choose to live a life in a state of love and gratitude, and joy vs. loss and sorrow and heaven and those therein can not be kept from you.

Nothing can take the place of a Father's hand, if you don't have one here to hold, reach a little higher

Becoming

A story was told of a Caterpillar named Yellow who was

trying to discover what she should do with her life.

In her wanderings, she came across another Caterpillar caught in some gauzy filament. Concerned, she asked if she could help. The other Caterpillar explained that the filament was part of becoming a butterfly. When Yellow heard the word "Butterfly" , her whole insides leaped with excitement. "But what is a butterfly?" she asked. The cocooned Caterpillar explained, "It's what you are meant to become". Yellow was intrigued but a little defiant as well. " How can I believe that there is a butterfly inside you or me when all I see is a fussy worm?". She paused, after further reflection she asked pensively, "How does one become a butterfly?' and the answer was this, " You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a Caterpillar"

I gave this story to a sister almost a decade ago as she was in a life transition. She unearthed it this weekend as she sorted through some old boxes. She shared it now with me . How appropriate that this would emerge the same weekend that I attended the ground breaking of the Provo City Center Temple. It was once a beloved a  Tabernacle, a place of worship, a place of peace. It was ravaged by fire over a year ago. We, the community both secular and saintly, grieved as we watched the flames overtake this beloved landmark. Our hearts were heavy, and souls sad.

But Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes or a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, there is something more glorious to be experienced.

God, the Master Architect, has the divine blue print in hand. He will refine our structure, our life, by the fires of adversity and trials. He is the one who allows the cocoons to be woven about us knowing that though we find them confining or restricting, they are necessary for our becoming. He knows the end result will be wings of light, wings of glory, lifting us higher then one could ever imagine as a Caterpillar. Arise a new and BE!

The Energy field of Forgiveness

The years of being an "energy therapist/facilitater" I have come across and learned about alot of enegry profiles and with that, I have come to appriciate that all creation is in a state of energy or vibration.

This morning while getting ready for work, my thoughts of a close friend who's family is at the brink of collapse filled my mind. As I went over the information I had been given and the possible senerios playing out on my mental stage , I wondered what it was that I was to do to help this person and family in crisis.

The answer was teach 'Forgiveness". Until there is forgivness plead for and given, the energy of the crisis will linger in the air and add to the discord. It will be, as it were, an atmosphere of frementing pea soup. For healing to take place, for the air to clear, for rational choices to be made, for peace to return, the energy , the vibration of forgiving needs to be the vital key to turn hearts back to light and open doors of renewal.

In all things we can do with energy therapy, tapping in to the atonment accessing the repentant heart and claiming the healing power of forgiving is what all this work is about. Forgive self, forgive one another. Truly it is as simple as that.

Messages in Water..A must Read for everyone

Messages in Water is a book I recommend to everyone! It teaches one how our thoughts affect not only our health and well being but how our thoughts can affect evryone and everything around us. The experiment was placing words, phrases and pictures on water taken from the same source then photographing the crystals that formed ..or in some cases did not form( see insert photo) You can go on line and actually watch (on youtube) the crystals form as music is played with perfect time. You can also google more photos of the crystals.

To cut through to the chase, we humans are about 70% water, imagine that what we take in( via junk food, images, thoughts,words, attitudes etc) is doing to our bodies. Imagine what you are doing to someone else with your thoughts/ words. Calling someone names or sending them negative "energy" does affect them. Critizing ourselves weakens us."As a man thinketh so is he"

As you read the book, and I hope you do, you will have an awakening of the infinite complexity and wonder of the human creation. You will realize that in truth, it is the thought that counts!

allegory of the lady bug kite

As of late it has been kite flying weather here along the Wasatch front. Clear skies and daily breezes has the kite flying public out with assorted kites and tails. Last week as a healthy Spring breeze was blowing thru, I met with a friend at our "Temple beach" and launched our little bug kite into the air.

It soared for a while then decided to do a few cart wheels in the current , a gentle tug on the line regained some control and then down to the earth it went .

This pattern continued as we would launch and re launch..I found that my little kite , which once soared to great heights just a few days before, was now satisfied to just fly low..no higher than about 20 feet before it would have a fit, flip out, cartwheel and plummet to the earth.
I noticed, however, that as the currents changed my little kite would try to adjust, connect with the wind and keep aloft, but along with a low flying altitude or should I say attitude, even the possibility of catching a nice strong upward current was not on her agenda. And here in lies the lesson. I learned while standing barefoot on the sand with a dizzy kite that so many of God's children are content to just fly low. The winds of change or the possibility of soaring to our potential scares us to death, we plummet back to the safe ground. We, like a kite, have every right to soar, we are built to soar, to rise above it all and BE. Be what we were designed to be.

Maybe my little green lady bug kite really did want to fly..but knowing there was a lesson to be learned, she sacrificed a bit of breeze in hopes that I would catch it, remember who I am and allow myself to soar.

Tis the Season

They say the Christmas season is one of music and if you are a music lover or enjoy all kinds of Christmas music like I do, you will enjoy this re-release CD. The Brunson Brothers and their long time friend and fellow musician, Jay Osmond have teamed up for for this incredible Christmas CD, Tis the Season

I found the arrangements of the season's favorite tunes very 'tight' and well written. There is something for everyone on this CD.

Jamie Glazier, one of the country's top studio Guitarist adds his talent to this musical wonderland of Christmas songs as well . He adds a little bit of that up beat, rock and roll feel to the musical experience! I absolutly love the flavor this CD adds to my menu of Chritmas Music!!

If you want to buy a copy of the CD /DVD you can contact Gaynor Brunson at brunsonbrothers.com or order direct through their studio : Brunson Brothers Media Group...801 375-3278

Tis the season......ENJOY!

The Lamb of God

While reading my scriptures this morning, I came across this passage:

" And this is according to the prophecy, that they shall be brought to the knowledge of their Redeemer, and their great and true shepherd and be numbered among his sheep"

When I read that, I thought of little almost one year old "Buggie" holding and snuggling with her little lamb blankie. For she, to those of us who know and love her, is a little lamb. She is cherished with whole hearts.

As I saw and felt this image, while reading this verse I felt the desire raise up in me, " I want to be a lamb of God, loved , held and cherished". I want to be counted in the Savior's fold as one of his lambs. For if I have such a love for this little girl and her blanket, how much more perfect love must he have for me....for us.

How much more secure will we feel wrapped up in his blanket, for he is also The Lamb of God.

TREAT YOURSELF well, LOVE YOURSELF more

"Treat

yourself well and love yourself more."

This very simple yet, oh so profound statement, came to me while I sat on a bench enjoying the cool shade a tree at Thanksgiving Point Gardens...one of my favorite places.

This summer as I am inching my way to my 50th birthday, I have been fulfilling a list of favorite things (5o of them) to celebrate this mile stone. {Someone once said that 50 is the new 30...haha I wish they would tell my feet that.... :S }anyway this summer I have been racing down the Alpine slide, eating seafood dinners spending hours at the pool and enjoying , when possible, this life I have been given. Why leave it to just one day, right?( next up, the zip line)

Today I decided to treat myself to the Gardens at Thanksgiving Point. Amazing place.!

I went early as to catch the morning breezes and to avoid the crowds. I kicked off my birkenstocks and stepped off the pathway and walked barefoot in the grass..a simple pleasure of mine. The Grass was still cool and damp, it refreshed my soul/sole.

As I wandered quietly through the gardens, stopping to enjoy my favorite venues, I was noticing how the hazy morning sunbeams dusted the plants with light. Beautiful! I went on snapping pictures and relished in this morning all to myself. After about an hour, I decided to sit in a quiet grove and take it all in from a seated point of view, my thoughts went scampering off...

"Ah, if only I could start each day like this, in a huge beautiful garden....of my own" Then, I am afraid to admit, they (thoughts) started to run away . I sat there thinking of all those things I wished I had, all those things I wished I could experience, all those things I denied myself ..etc etc it was like a runaway train. Luckily my thought pattern was brought to an abrupt stop. "Brenda, just enjoy this moment, treat yourself to this moment".

I began to feel rather foolish for spoiling a wonderful morning which I was blessed with. I knew there were others in far away places facing war and hunger and all manner of ick! And I was here in a peaceful garden complaining quietly of things I didn't have or felt worthy of having.

This morning venture was indeed a treat! .

I wondered how many times we/I forgo treating ourselves to happy things. Not feeling deserving, no time, no umpf, life and it's demands dictates that such things are frivolous and selfish. I can't imagine who would want us to feel that way..can you?

But if we don't fill our joy buckets, who will, if we don't make time to nurture ourselves , who will...who said that we need to put ourselves last? Who said we can't treat ourselves every now and then? Who says?

My lesson started with someone speaking to my soul, " It is not a sin to treat yourself or to desire the joyful things of life, things that will gladden the heart." God wants us to be filled, to be a "Full Human Being" ,to reach out to the risk of living with both arms. Embrace the world.'( Morris West)

President Uctdorf, in his general conference address, talked about how we as children of God live below our privileges...now this is not in some commercial, superficial way. But in a "we forget that God has oodles in store for us, let me do this for you , My TREAT: sort of way". We feel like we are not worthy, or need to work hard for it, pay for it, wait until tomorrow for it.... and we stop the hand that wishes to bless.

When you have been asked to a dinner by a friend and they say, "I will get this, my treat" how do you respond? Think about it.

This is about where that pround statement came in ( above mentioned) Treat yourself..don't deny the joy, reach for it, but also treat yourself WELL..with respect, like you would a cherished loved one...and love more..you know that game.."Love you!"..(reply) "LOVE you MORE" Say it in the mirror!

Now that my lesson under the tree was finished and I felt resolved that I would go forward with a new mindset, I sauntered back up the hill, went to the Trellis cafe. I asked for a patio view( outside) and ordered , not the cheapest thing on the menu, but what I desired. I was going to show Heaven in a symbolic and hunger driven way that I was no longer going to deny myself that what brings me joy. I would treat myself as if I were my best friend.

I topped it off with a chocolate souffle' served with orange anglaise and almonds!

Sitting under my umberella'd table, I said " Brenda, you're one heck of a gal, you deserve it!" lifting my blackberry lemonade, "Happy Birthday and thanks for the Treat!"

Dream Keepers

Dream Keepers

You, my kindred friend

are found in the middle years

when wisdom dons the brow

and yet,

somehow there's a part of you

that reaches the beginning

of my childhood dreams

and ambitions of youth

and in your acknowledgement

give them truth,the catalyst of reality.

I am glad it was you ,who

was led by heaven's hand out of the throng

to lead along the way of dreams

on a road more refined

that only few will find.

You,my kindred friend

felt my soul enough to

give me inspiration to BE

and reach all that I am now

and beyond the boundaries

of time-

lend me your pocket that

I may give you my dreams.

BCB

dedicated to all those who have inspired me.

Goodbyes stink!

This past week, my eyes have looked like crimson almonds,red and puffy as they have wept me through 4 goodbyes.
Of all the mortal experiences, goodbyes are my least favorite. What is it about this experience that turns our soul inside out and leaves us with a hollow void, why is that? Why do we feel that wrenching deep down? why can't we just say: " K, love ya, see ya, bye" and be done with it?
But no, our hearts go into melt down, our eyes well up in tears, our voices crack and words can't seem to vocalize our anguish.

Tender thoughts of compassion, at the time, seem like a band-aid on a broken leg...we are in the middle of suffering!
Who voted to put this stinking venture on our life's agenda? I say we take it off and not have to let go of loved ones, keep them close and treasure them with every breath we have.
But, pause I must, as I remember now, that I was one who voted for this experience.

I voted to know what it felt like to sky dive off into the blue abyss of sorrow, hike the mountains of Joy, float in a river of tears and be sky rocketed into clear skies of light... My "travel agent" scheduled it all in ....and now, here I am in the middle of this journey with hands on my face thinking, "oy! what did I get myself into?"
Life. I got myself into life, all of it. Highs, lows ,dark , light.....

....as I think now of these these loved ones, I am hearing in the back of my mind and Beatles tune...
"You say Good bye and I say Hello..."
I am looking forward to the reuniting "Hello , Hello!...no more goodbyes, cuz we'll say Hello"

Laying naked in the Grass

I am sure at first glance this title may make some people twinge. But I assure you, it's not all what you may think it is.
As in years past, after I take an evening walk around the Temple grounds, I end my exercise by pulling off the shoes and socks and walk barefoot through the cool grass. That simple act is more rejuvenating than you know.
I find a quiet spot, there inside the gates of the Temple, and for a the lack of a more graceful word, plunk myself down on the grass, stretch and then settle back into the cool blades of green.

There with my face turned Heavenward, I lay there naked, vulnerable and without any earthly trappings before God.
I am stripped of all things . H e sees me as I am, without the spiritual "spanks" holding me in , without a moo-moo to hide behind or without any tinkling jewels and fine twine- linens( not that I wear it to exercise..but my New balance running shoes are rather nifty) that would try to place me above another. I am there, Me, without pretenses,he sees and knows me inside out and upside down. I can not hide my heart or my soul. And so I am naked before Him.
In those vulnerable moments , I am taught in quiet and profound ways.
I am reminded how much He loves me. I am reminded how much I am truly blessed.
I am open to him, no fig leaf or bush or cloth to hide my nakedness. I am hoping to be as a child who is free and shameless, innocent and teachable...and not hide my nakedness/vulnerability before God.

Borrowed communication

As I have had a frustrating few weeks with an internet provider...or should I say the lack of a internet provider..( loss or skittish connection) I can not help but think back when this would never had been an issue. Communication ,even 10 years ago was so different, 20 years ago this whole web and cyber chat was not even on our radar for the most part. We used a phone, attached to a wall...or the base was attached to the wall. If we went out, no one tracked us down by phone, we didn't get emails, or texts, We spoke face to face or left a meaagae or called back and that was that. I remember when even most homes had no "answering service" of any kind.
Now we have become so dependant on this technology.
So, since I too am caught into to this cyber web, I have had to schlep across the way to a beloved sister and borrow her computer to communicate with the world.

As I have done so, a lesson was learned. One form of (if not the most important) communication has never been disconnected.
Prayer. One can always connect with God, he never puts us on hold, puts us on a machine, and we are always in our calling range..no roaming fees . So tonight as I look at my blank computer, yet again, I will know when cyber space is shut down, the heavens are always connected!

The Place of Knowing: My interview with Emma Lou Thayne( Beloved author and Poet)

The Place of Knowing is where we all want to be, a place of answers, peace, understanding, enlightenment.
In Emma Lou Thayne's new release, The Place of Knowing, her life and near death experiences will shepherd you, the reader, closer to that goal.

Emma Lou Thayne discovered her love and gift for writing in the 4th grade. After producing a poem as part of an assignment to be read in class, her teacher question the integrity of the poem stating it was too good to have been written by Emma Lou. Disappointed by her teacher's doubting words,but not discouraged, Emma Lou( Warner) Thayne continued to write her way into the realms of Literary Royalty.

Sitting in the presence of such a beloved author, poet and public speaker I, of course, was in awe!
The magnitude of this opportunity did not slip past me. But I was delightfully put at ease by Sister Thyane's warm and engaging conversation, I felt her a true kindred spirit!

I believe , as a reader of her book, ( The Place of Knowing) you will find that same engaging conversation that will warm and touch your soul.

I invite you all to take the journey and discover your place of knowing with Emma Lou Thayne's
newest Book.

* in depth interview details will be on my blog next week.....something to look forward to .

agony of De' feet

As a foot zone therapist I have had some remarkable experiences with clients. As I work thru the points on their feet, finding and helping to relieve the blockages caused by physical or emotional stresses. I have witnessed the healthy shifts that can happen.
The other day I was zoning a client and working on the lung point, which caused a very sudden and 'thrashing in the chair' response. I looked at the client with question in my eyes..."ok, I admit, the client said, I started smoking again..."
The client has been under some serious stress and reverted back to an old habit of coping. Not the best habit, but one that was familiar. We talked about it and checked for a healthier way to cope rather than to fill the lungs and body with poison.

Sadly, a great many of society have bought into the lie that one needs a substance to cope.
There are many reasons as to why others gravitate to this destructive venue . But on the up side, there are many ways to help wean off these vices and reclaim inner strength .

God desires for us to stand in our truth and to be strong. He has given us helps and guides and means to overcome.

There are opposing forces who would have us defeated. Weak, blocked, numb.

It's time to reclaim ourselves and be free. Life, for the most part, is good! Hard times come to all of us , but they need not own us. We need not be a slave to them . We can turn within for strength and reach above into the heavens for support and leave the additive pseudo coping devices behind.

Enough is as good as a Feast

In the Movie, Mary Poppins, the magical nanny reminds Jane and Michael of this very concept. Very wise words when pondered.
This past week I learned the very lesson with a dozen...well, 2 dozen cupcakes.
I had volunteered to donate cupcakes for the young women of my ward (church) as a fund raiser for camp. I had in my mind's eye the kind of cupcakes I would make. Being trained as a professional cake decorator, I knew I could mimic the popular style of cupcake that brings in the Big Bucks , ....you know..those flavored filled frosting piled to the roof kind...?
So with bowl and beaters and assorted ingredients I set out to fulfill my baking obligation.

Sadly or I should say horrifically as I attempted to frost the cupcakes with the mile high swirl, something kept going terribly wrong. There was no earthly reason these should not be turning out. Very frustrated and miffed. I called it a night and went to bed.
As I was saying my prayers and thinking about the sticky mess I left in the kitchen, the thought came in very clear and i understood the lesson immediately .
"Brenda those cupcakes ( the ones piled high with frosting that sell like crazy in sweet shoppes) are all about over indulgence. These cupcakes ( the ones I am to make) are not about that, they are about service." Wow, how true...God sees the folly of men and their addiction to more, even in a cupcake. As I thought about it and concluded to follow that gentle reminder that enough is as good as a feast, fun cupcakes don't have to be piled high with frosting to bring in the big bucks for a fundraiser. A fun simple design popped into my head and I drifted off into peaceful sleep.

How true , though, the cupcakes that are so popular are about over indulging, just like the super sized fries, drinks and other assorted foods purchased at drive thru windows. Just like bigger better computers, phones and piles of shoes.

Why do we feel we need more than we we really do? Are we afraid if we don't get the two years supply of frosting today on this one cupcake , we will never get it? If I don't eat all these fries today we will just shrink up and die? .....well chances are you may, but not from the the lack of super sized french fries.. what is driving this frenzy?

When did society decided enough wasn't?

I don't know, but if God sees our folly in a seemingly small thing as a cupcake, maybe we need to rethink this before everything is taken and we learn the hard way, that enough is as good as a feast.

Grass Roots

As I sat on the grassy hill after my walk, thinking about the upcoming wellness seminar "For the Beauty of The Earth,( May 21) I remembered as a kid I use to eat grass. Well, not the whole blade, but the root. My freinds and I would gently pull a blade of grass up from the ground ,being careful not to tear it in the process and at the end of the blade was a 1/2 inch section of milky white fiber holding in a yellow root. We would open that portion and eat the sweet root. I have no idea why or how that all started, maybe instinct as our body was looking for vitamin A..?who knows.

As I remember my grazing days, I pondered on all the vitamin rich foods that come from the earth,healthy happy foods , now look how many people are choosing to eat more porcessed foods instead. Quick, easy and empty. Then pop a vitamin pill for health's sake.
No wonder we have a health crisis in this generation. Not only are we choosing poorly when it comes to what we injest, but we have conjured up a fear of being outside, on the grass, in the sunshine.
How many kids today sit outside with friends just talking and laughing and pulling grass to chew on or searching for little "cheesies to eat( the little green cheese shaped plant growing at the the edge of the lawn) .
True,now days we have overused the pesticides on front lawns making a grass chewing experince a little more risky, but that aside, I realized that the population as a whole has pulled away from Grass roots, Simple living. A time when talking face to face was the norm , eating fresh food from a garden not microwaving a depleted food source from a box was the norm, and sitting/playing in the fresh air untethered to an electronic devise was the prefered place to be.

So I hope that next time you find your self outside, find a lush patch of grass to sit on. And if you choose not to search for the roots to chew, maybe you can search for roots to return to.

Mothers Day and Dancing Blooms

As I tip-toed through the tulips at the annual Thanksgiving Point tulip fest, I couldn't help but feel that Mother Earth had donned a fine flowered hat for Mothers Day. She, of course, being the ultimate Mother that has nutured every living soul, and desreves a the colorful spray of blooms.

At every turn and bend in the faux cobble stoned walk, my breath was taken with the variety and pallet of peddles. The sweet fragrence was lite in the breeze. The sun was warm, the little stream gurgled. It was a welcomed sensory overload . This is Spring at it's best.

I continued my walk, snapping pictures and watching the nature loving people wander through each venue. I was amused at their variety,color and shapes as well. As I saunterd down in to a small valley of grass, my thoughts were interupted and my attention was quickly drawn to a small grove. Out behind a walkway of budding bushes and pansies, a twirling pink skirt danced into my view. There in the sunlight, framed in garden splender was the true Blossom of Spring. A child. Free and uninhibited by the world joyfully dancing and twirling in the tulips. She and her fragrance of innocence, her promise of new life, I thought, is truly the flower that adorns our Mother's hat. Happy Mothers Day!

REIKI Healing Music

Grass and New York City

Yesterday as I mowed the grass for my aging parents, my first thought was this would serve as a work out for me. The Yard is bumpy caused by root systems from trees and tunnels from worms. Controlling a mower over such terrain truly gives the arms wrists and hands a work out.

My second thought was, if everyone lent themselves to more manual- physical service to others i.e. yard work, walking the dog for someone house bound etc, we wouldn't need to go to a gym to work out our bodies and keep them in shape.

Finally as I jostled the mower across the thick grass I felt gratitude that I lived in a place where there was space/land for yards and gardens of our own, a place to connect with Mother Earth daily, unlike those poor folk in New York City who live in concrete and steel high rises.

They seldom get to connect to Mother Earth in everyday ways. I really don't see them rotating the schedule to mow patches of Central Park or weed or plant the gardens there. Unlike Europe where one sees the abundance of window boxes on high rises, a small box of dirt and plants in which to connect to another living thing besides a house cat. I was curious how those in cities get grounded... there is something healing about working with the land , walking in the grass, and living in spaces of green. How might their lives be different if they had the blessing of mowing the grass or raking the leaves?